May consumer confidence falls to near 16-year low - Yahoo! News
The May reading marks the fifth straight month of decline and is the lowest since the index registered 54.6 in October 1992 when the economy was coming out of a recession.
His father was still in office until January 1993, and this milestone thus allows our current president to boldly and proudly proclaim having surpassed his father's accomplishments, which is often one of the central subconscious drives of males everywhere.
Unfortunately while the specific achievement, destruction of an entire economy before leaving office, was achieved, it took him two terms to do it, so the Guinness Book people will have to get back to us on the exact categorization of the achievement and the award if any.
While no one has managed to get close enough to the president to ask how he feels about this, it is highly likely that he would in all due modesty share the credit with the following and we agree in advance: American outsourcing of manufacturing and other job capital to the third world allowing them enough money to join the modern age and consume fossil fuels with the same gluttony we do, rampant schizophrenic investment trends among the upper middle class, an idiot electorate who have few enough brain cells to be taken in by Ted Kennedy for two billion terms as a singular of many for instance, and the loss of Alan Greenspan who seemed to be the only person on Earth capable of juggling the numbers long enough to forestall the inevitable collapse of the stupidity under the onslaught of reality.
Congratulations are in order therefore to one and all. Good job everyone, but I feel I must warn you that you need to pick up the pace and improve your competency at economic incompetence if you're going to truly compare on the world's stage across history. So stop your slacking people, put your nose to the grindstone, and get back to work on fucking up everything you touch.
That is all.
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